#Shitmybrothersays Pt. 1

Before I begin this first post of infamy, I will begin with a background story. So (see? I told you I liked to start sentences this way) I will first begin by saying that my brother is 13 years old. My brother is unbelievably witty for his age. In fact, he is so witty, that I have no idea where he gets it from. I am often floored by the hilarious comments that make their way out of his mouth (when he's not stuffing it with chicken fingers and Subway sandwiches). I mean, both of our parents are SOMEWHAT witty (if you enjoy a sick sense of humor), and I have been told that I am quite hilarious myself (by the people who don't completely hate me), although, I have to be honest, I am not a natural witty person. Really what I do is just sit online and read funny blogs until that person's hilariousness manifests itself into my pathetic brain. But my brother, he is genuinely an amazingly funny person, and for that, I am envious. But lucky for you (ha, I'm doing that thing where I blog as if people are actually reading my posts...), this makes for humorous interactions between my brother and I. And I will post these in my blog.

*cooking chicken tenders*
"EW TYLER, this chicken isn't cooked!"
"yes it is!"
"It's WIGGLY!"
"...well Cara....you get what you deserve"
"...you're a dick."

Ok for the fourth time...(Jesus...)

This would be maybe the fifth time I've tried to start a blog. I'll tell you the story about the Little Blogs that Couldn't.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Cara. Cara was a musician with a creative mind and a somewhat unique writing style. So one day in college, Cara said "hey, blogging is kind of neat! I should blog about my life! It's interesting!" Little did Cara know, that her daily life is not, as previously thought, interesting by any means whatsoever. After thirty or so uninteresting and psuedo-emo posts, Cara said "fuck this shit, my life is boring". So the life of Failedblog#1 ended with no dignity. Then, after working hard at a music & arts camp with children, Cara said "Children are so inspirational! Let's make a blog about how awesome life is!" So then she created one post (picture included) about childhood innocence. Then, after months of not blogging, she decided "ok, life isn't THAT beautiful." Thus, Failedblog#2 came to an end. Failedblog#3 isn't really a failed blog at all, but just a random blog post stating how "things will be different, from now on!" and "I tried to make horchata and it failed! BLAH!" ...So actually, Failedblog#3 is really more like failed-horchata-blog-post-of-wonder-and-delight. The end (questionmark?).

Ok so that was an awful story. ANYWAYS, with my new addiction to Twitter, I decided that I might SOMETIMES have somewhat-but-not-really (I enjoy phrases that are over-hyphenated) interesting things to say.

So this is my fifth attempt at regular blogging. So I'm not making any promises.

Also, I like to start sentences with "so..." and "ok so...", and if that bothers you, then GET THE FUCK OUT' MAH BLOG!

Let's try this again...

Ok. This is the third time I've started this blog. The first time I started it, it was much like a depressing diary. So one day I said "nope, not feelin' it". The Second time I started it I decided that I was going to blog about important and insightful things. But then I realized that I don't have insightful things to say very often. So now I decided that I'm just going to blog about whatever the f*ck I want and try to make it as entertaining as possible. Not that anyone actually reads this. But maybe some day...

So yesterday I came up with a great plan. Background story: So, I love cooking. But cooking doesn't love me. And ok, I don't love it THAT much because if I did, I would find more time to come up with delicious creations. But instead I manage to only find time to boil pasta and add some pre-made Trader Joe's Garlic and Herb marinara sauce- and that's on a GOOD day. But here's the thing- I always find delicious, amazing and HEALTHY recipes that I want to try, but I never have time. So I came up with this fabulous idea yesterday: Once a week, I will make something from a recipe I find.

This all started with horchata. I've gotten Mexican food accompanied with horchata (a cinnamon rice water drink of delicousness) a few times lately, and I have fallen in love with it. So I looked up a recipe, found out that it is really easy, and decided to give it a try. So while I was making this horchata, I found more and more recipes that I wanted to try for other foods, and thought "hey, cooking isn't that hard, I can do this once a week". So there you have it. Cooking a delicious new dish once a week. Done and done.

But more about this horchata. Horchata is super easy to make. Blend water and uncooked rice. Let it sit. Add vanilla, milk, cinnamon, and sugar. Chill. Drink. Be happy. But I did a bad thing. I added TOO MUCH cinnamon to the horchata. I didn't even know that was possible! But it is. And it happened. And that makes me sad. And also, I didn't let the rice and water mixture sit for long enough (only about 30 minutes instead of 45-and hour or two.) So it didn't really taste like rice. :( Oh, and I may have used vanilla almond milk in lieu of regular milk- which SOUNDS like a great idea in theory. But I can tell you from experience that it was not right. It made the horchata much too sweet.

So all in all, it was a horchata fail. I mean, the stuff was drinkable. And it was good for a little while. But in the end, it was just too sweet, too cinnamon-ey(?), and too sad.

The end.